Installation & performance
Oct 21st - Nov 21st 2021
with Big Rat Studios
Oil & charcoal on cut out and acrylic on drum stick.
Ride - a eulogy (2021)
Start writing, drawing ink from the pen and the words fail.
Pick up charcoal and start to draw, dust for dust, the image of a hand comes out.
Picking up, putting down. New beginnings and recent losses.
We just lost Chris. He picked up the sticks a long time ago and my encounter with his playing led me into a new way of seeing the world. Led me into a different life, created a fork in the road and allowed me to find purpose.
His playing, the way he played a simple beat - it’s the thing that got me - drew me in. The sway, the bounce, the shift and push - not many people are recognisable behind a a backbeat - creating the frame for others to fill in, to provide the song. The details. The songs can remain but the foundations will shift.
Realising a shift within my own body, a burst eardrum causing me to halt and slow, put the sticks down. It created an ending, I had to let go.
It can take time to celebrate the value of putting down and picking up something new, allowing space for things to unfold along an undefined line.
The line that started with Chris eventually led to me to Alicia, and Jacqueline her mother. It is parents like her that should be in charge, support structures that elevate through and with love. She would hate me saying that as it was never meant to be about her.
We just lost Jacqueline. Another beat stopped. I still don’t know how to process these things, I want to do it in the right way but I’m stopped by thoughts of perfection - needing to forget those thoughts and allow mistakes to become the right thing.
To be led, to trust the voice.
Alicia said on stage once, “From the stomach and the heart with passion”
A letting go, lighting a candle. It’s not enough, it is enough, you want the rhythms to continue, the ghost notes will be heard in the background.
Text read as part of performance on the 21st October 2021 at Hastings Bookshop